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An Open Letter to My Four Kids
By Vanessa Rasanen To my four children: I am no perfect mama. I am very much a poor and miserable sinner of a mom. But you don’t really need me to remind you of that. Even at your oh-so young ages you’ve had the blinders removed and seen me in some of my darkest moments. Okay, maybe not the 1-week-old as much, but I’m fairly certain he has spent the last several months hearing my raised voice when I get angry and feeling my body shake from the sobs when that guilt hits afterward. Parenting is hard. I know it probably looks like such an easy thing from your perspective. Dad…
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When You Need a Break
By Allison Hull I recently saw something online from someone I know who had reached her tipping point. “I can’t do this anymore. I’m burnt out. I can’t pour from an empty cup.” She was talking about life, being a mother, and just trying to get by. I wanted to say something, but it seemed like she was inundated with other people and their thoughts. So I thought it best to just sit by and pray for her. We’ve all been there. At least I know I have. Kids are a lot. They’re needy and demanding leeches of energy. I was at my parents’ house, and my mother voiced she didn’t…
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Are You Done Having Children?
By Vanessa Rasanen Two years ago while pregnant with our third child I was astonished by the negativity we received from friend and stranger alike, and the questions and remarks caught me off guard. Needless to say I assumed I’d get the same iffy treatment when we became pregnant with number four this past year. At first some responses lived up to my pessimistic expectations, but those soon tapered off and much to my delight I now encounter only delight and joy (still with the occasional bit of shock, but positive shock, it seems). Yet there is still one question I hear quite often, and — while not in itself…
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Tips to Help Kids Through A Move
By Emily Cook The craziest thing happened today. It was a mini-miracle in my own living room, during our family devotion time. It almost made my heart stop. My son, with hands folded and head bowed, said in his prayer, “Thank you God for calling us here.” It’s happened with each of us, but I wasn’t sure it would happen with him. It’s been seven months since The Big Move. The changes were huge and sudden, and the Big Feelings came like waves pushing all of us around at different times, in different ways. Denial, Anger, Excitement, Fear, Sadness, Bargaining, Pouting, Acceptance. And finally, gratitude. I wrote this to him later…
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Review of Mothering Many
By Holly Scheer Book Review of Mothering Many Compiled and Edited by Marie K. MacPherson Mothering Many takes the advice of 25 mothers with a more than 160 children between them and discusses common problems and themes in the lives of mothers. The book is in two main sections — the first is the advice and wisdom of the mothers in the context of various real life situation and the second is a lengthy series of appendices. The intended audience, according to the editor, is Christian women who stay home with their children, with a special emphasis on homeschooling mothers. The advice is particularly tailored to the needs of families…
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It Gets Better… Right?
By Sandra Ostapowich Now and then, mothers of older teens and young adults at church will pull me aside (apparently recognizing the clenched jaw and dark circles under my eyes, which reveal that my son has been stomping all over my short fuse of tightly-wound last nerves) and quietly tell me, “I remember that age. This, too, will pass.” Really? Are you sure? I’ve survived the newborn phase and the terrible toddler years, and even have managed to get through the early school-age grades. But now, just when I thought I had this mommying thing down, I’ve been truly humbled. Do you want to know who can cut to your…
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A Mom’s Ministry
By Allison Hull Recently I was in a discussion with an acquaintance. While our kids played, we hit the various “mom talking points”. Health, kids, their bodily functions, who gets the least amount of sleep, and guess-what-that-stain-is all the while being interrupted by a scream from a child or barking at them to stop whatever torture they were inflicting on a sibling. If you’re a mom to young children, you know this is just an average conversation. But towards the end it turned weird. She started asking me about my faith and what I was doing to further the kingdom. Caught off guard I half-smiled, turned and gestured to my…
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Making Time for Catechesis In A Busy Schedule
By Vanessa Rasanen You don’t have to be a working mom and wife to have a hectic schedule, nor do you need to be a parent for catechesis to be important. But when your schedule is nuts, finding just five minutes seems daunting. Even the shortest of devotionals or the simplest of catechism routines can often take much longer than expected when you consider having to wrangle squirmy kids while hunting down the materials that got buried under this week’s mail or laundry or dishes or all of the above. Then the world distracts to no end — even if we manage to sit down with our Bible or our Small…
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What Moms Need to Hear
By Vanessa Rasanen I see them often, and I’m sure you have, too — those pretty memes and pictures on Facebook, Pinterest, and all across social media. They’re bent on inspiring and encouraging, lifting you up on those really crappy days when your own screams rival any your little ones have belted. They tell you it’s okay. You’re doing just fine. You’re a good mom. You’re awesome. You’re enough. Oh, sure, those make us all warm and fuzzy inside. We smile and sigh, patting ourselves on the back before pouring ourselves a glass of wine. We aren’t as rotten as we act. The internet told us so. Or maybe a…
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Preparing for Birth Surprises
By Vanessa Rasanen There’s something that happens to moms after birth. On one hand we somehow forget — perhaps with some time — the aches, the pain, the anxiety, and all the less-than-fun aspects of pregnancy and birth. On the other hand we rarely forget the key points of those blessed days. While we may not remember every little detail, no amount of mom-brain and no amount of sleep-deprivation can erase the memories of where we were, what we were doing, and how long we labored for those sweet little ones to enter our arms. My memory certainly isn’t what it used to be in my pre-mom days, yet I…
